That Filipino Thing
A few weeks ago, I had a Skype interview with a foreign employer for a job prospect abroad. I guess it went very well. I was very comfortable talking so much that I was able to organize my thoughts to answer properly every questions asked. It also helped that the interviewer was in a very good mood. I felt at ease immediately when it started. The conversation was lively up to the very end.
This was in contrast a few minutes prior when my anxiety took over. One of the more immediate reason is that I'm not comfortable talking in English. The thought of stuttering and losing an opportunity unnerved me. I may have the best explanation but it will not matter if I will not be able to communicate properly. A recruiter, who was in the country to find talents and facilitate the series of interviews, probably saw through my fidgeting while I was sitting in a building's lobby. He approached me and struck a conversation. I have met this guy before in the previous interviews so at this point I was quite comfortable talking to him casually.
He gave some interview tips which I find useless anyway. Things like "Be confident", "Don't be afraid. The interviewer is a nice person" etc. I think my anxiety worsened even.
"Loss the Sir", he said. I said "What?". He answered, "An interviewee... a nice girl a few hours ago was very formal. The interviewer doesn't like that. Don't call him 'Sir'. He prefers a little bit casual... and confidence."
Although personally, I learned to loss the "Sir" several years ago when talking to foreign colleagues. But yeah, Filipinos are fond of retaining our Sirs and Ma'ams with the purest intent of respect. But to some foreign employers, its a sure sign of lack of confidence. And that might be a costly mistake.
"Yeah, one of the biggest mistake noobs make", that's how a reply was forming in my head. But a better one (thankfully) came out my mouth. "Well, it's a Filipino thing...". "I know.", the recruiter said. "But the employer wanted a proper conversation. Not a timid one."
Still, it didn't help. I'm still anxious but it made me think (once again) the Filipino way of giving respect. If I had to put myself in the shoes of foreigners regardless if we had equal credentials or not, it's really uncomfortable calling me Sir. I cringe every time I watched the TV and someone introduced "Sir" Garry Valenciano or "Sir" Arnel Pineda. It's as if I can hear a probably nonexistent sarcasm.
Even at work, I constantly remind newbies to loss the Sir when addressing me. But I gave up eventually. It's futile when it has become part of the culture. Once in a while, a few enlightened ones call me by my first name and it was refreshing as fuck.
Speaking of Filipino thing, I'm alone on this one but I could not say "po" and "opo" without throwing up a little in my mouth. Well, that's a little bit exaggeration. But being born and raised in the south, I sometimes felt the purpose has the opposite meaning to me - disrespectful and sarcastic. Of course, we were taught "po" and "opo" in elementary schools and in television shows. Back home, the usage stays there. Because it's a Tagalog thing. I had a mild culture shock when I first worked in Manila when literally everyone at worked addressed everyone with "po" and "opo". A typical conversation would go along like
I'm diverging a lot but my point still stands. As most speakers probably suggest, learn to know our audience. We learned from school to address authority as Sirs and Ma'ams. But as we grow older, some of us are slowly shifting to the global arena mingling with other nationalities. For sure, it is more personal when we address people by their first names. It shows confidence and attention to details. Where's the Filipino in that? you might asked.
I believe that Filipino thing is the smile and a whole lot of positivity stripped out of all the sarcasm and condescension.
---
UPDATE: I started writing this piece yesterday. I got a Job offer from that overseas job today. Fuck yeah!
This was in contrast a few minutes prior when my anxiety took over. One of the more immediate reason is that I'm not comfortable talking in English. The thought of stuttering and losing an opportunity unnerved me. I may have the best explanation but it will not matter if I will not be able to communicate properly. A recruiter, who was in the country to find talents and facilitate the series of interviews, probably saw through my fidgeting while I was sitting in a building's lobby. He approached me and struck a conversation. I have met this guy before in the previous interviews so at this point I was quite comfortable talking to him casually.
He gave some interview tips which I find useless anyway. Things like "Be confident", "Don't be afraid. The interviewer is a nice person" etc. I think my anxiety worsened even.
"Loss the Sir", he said. I said "What?". He answered, "An interviewee... a nice girl a few hours ago was very formal. The interviewer doesn't like that. Don't call him 'Sir'. He prefers a little bit casual... and confidence."
Although personally, I learned to loss the "Sir" several years ago when talking to foreign colleagues. But yeah, Filipinos are fond of retaining our Sirs and Ma'ams with the purest intent of respect. But to some foreign employers, its a sure sign of lack of confidence. And that might be a costly mistake.
"Yeah, one of the biggest mistake noobs make", that's how a reply was forming in my head. But a better one (thankfully) came out my mouth. "Well, it's a Filipino thing...". "I know.", the recruiter said. "But the employer wanted a proper conversation. Not a timid one."
Still, it didn't help. I'm still anxious but it made me think (once again) the Filipino way of giving respect. If I had to put myself in the shoes of foreigners regardless if we had equal credentials or not, it's really uncomfortable calling me Sir. I cringe every time I watched the TV and someone introduced "Sir" Garry Valenciano or "Sir" Arnel Pineda. It's as if I can hear a probably nonexistent sarcasm.
Even at work, I constantly remind newbies to loss the Sir when addressing me. But I gave up eventually. It's futile when it has become part of the culture. Once in a while, a few enlightened ones call me by my first name and it was refreshing as fuck.
Speaking of Filipino thing, I'm alone on this one but I could not say "po" and "opo" without throwing up a little in my mouth. Well, that's a little bit exaggeration. But being born and raised in the south, I sometimes felt the purpose has the opposite meaning to me - disrespectful and sarcastic. Of course, we were taught "po" and "opo" in elementary schools and in television shows. Back home, the usage stays there. Because it's a Tagalog thing. I had a mild culture shock when I first worked in Manila when literally everyone at worked addressed everyone with "po" and "opo". A typical conversation would go along like
"Kumusta na po yung ginagawa mo?" (How's the development going?)
"Malapit na po. Sabihan po kita pag tapos na." (It's almost done. I'll inform you once done.)In the south, respect doesn't come with unnecessary identifiers. The Visayan language, for example, relies on intonations to "hear" that respectful intent. Don't get me wrong. The Tagalog's way of explicitly expressing respect sounds nice when used in the proper context. I learned to assimilate myself with the culture and have used and misused "po" and "opo" a lot of times. It felt a little cringey to say and hear when used unnecessarily. My landlady, for instance, has the most prominent resting bitch face I have ever encountered. Every time, she addresses me with that Tagalog thing, I'm almost sure she's smirking on the side.
I'm diverging a lot but my point still stands. As most speakers probably suggest, learn to know our audience. We learned from school to address authority as Sirs and Ma'ams. But as we grow older, some of us are slowly shifting to the global arena mingling with other nationalities. For sure, it is more personal when we address people by their first names. It shows confidence and attention to details. Where's the Filipino in that? you might asked.
I believe that Filipino thing is the smile and a whole lot of positivity stripped out of all the sarcasm and condescension.
---
UPDATE: I started writing this piece yesterday. I got a Job offer from that overseas job today. Fuck yeah!
Comments
Post a Comment